Why I stopped apologizing for wanting to feel better (Real Talk)
Written by Savannah Chrisley
Published February 19, 2025
I used to open conversations about my health with an apology. "I know everyone's on this… I feel weird about it… I'm not trying to take a shortcut… I just…" And then I'd trail off, because I hadn't figured out yet that I didn't owe anyone an introduction to a decision about my own body.
The apology tax
Women are taught — in a hundred small ways — to pre-apologize for taking up space. For wanting things. For asking for help. For prioritizing ourselves. When I finally saw it, I couldn't unsee it. Every time I caught myself saying "I know this sounds crazy, but…" about something perfectly reasonable, I flinched.
“I don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of my own body.”
What changed when I stopped apologizing
The conversations got shorter. The shame got lighter. I stopped performing my decision for other people's comfort and started actually making the decision. Here's the wild part: the women in my life who had also been quietly struggling started telling me their own stories — because my honesty gave them permission.
What I'd tell the woman reading this
- You don't owe anyone a disclaimer for prioritizing your health.
- Not every family member needs a briefing. Not every friend needs your whole plan.
- You are allowed to ask for provider-guided care without a dissertation on why.
- The people who matter will meet you where you are. The rest can catch up or not.
Take this as your permission slip, if you needed one. But also — you already had it. — S.
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